It’s hot outside. I live just 20 feet from the pool at my complex. Since I don’t even own a bathing suit, and never plan to own one again, I can’t go swimming. It would feel so good. I want to just slip on a pair of slides as I walk the dog and take out the trash. I don’t want to sit behind closed windows. I want to hang out with other people who share my interests. I do not want to play nude volleyball (I detest volleyball, except when Tom Selleck posed for photos to raise money for the US team). I don’t tan, I fry. I want nude social events that are true social events. Maybe I’ll become the nude Martha Stewart.
My real rant? I’ve been surfing various nudism, nudist, naturalist web sites for about a week. I really don’t like what I’ve seen. I tried various datelines for ‘the nude lifestyle’. That lasted 3 days. All I got in return were emails from creeps sending me photos of their erect naked penis. I have news for you guys, while the human body is magnificent and beautiful, the only ugly part of it – male or female is the erect naked penis. Date tip: It is not something we gals really get excited about it. It’s way, way, way down on the list. Trust me. All you’re doing is looking for a way to expose yourself and not get arrested for it. As far as I’m concerned, it only gets you put on my ‘blocked email’ list. Try a new approach. Take up ballroom dancing. You’ll learn something and meet some very lonely women who will let you have their way with them…if they are really, really really lonely.
So I email back to one offender. “I thought this wasn’t what nudism is all about”. Reply back, “Yes it is.” If it is, count me out. If this is what it is all about, then that’s just plain sick – seriously sick.
It has also taught me that there are a heck of a lot of socially inept, insecure men out there, desperate for women. I always thought it was the other way around, but it’s not. There are more men than women looking. Cool. I like the odds. I just don’t like the jerks.
It also occurs to me that you guys are people we see on the street and interact with every day. Like I said, take a dance class (seriously), wash your hair, get some new clothes, and go trolling for nice women. I’m not talking about the Paris Hilton silicon bimbos you dream about as you drool over the SI Swimsuit issue. Look for real women. So you’re terrified of what the thin women and your buddies would think if you ask a ‘fatty’ out for a date. Try it. You may be shocked to find someone as lonely as you, and someone willing to make a great life. You may even get lucky and find a close nudist.
So I go to a nude social event. Am I going to have anything in common with anyone there – besides being naked?
Until tomorrow - I'm still nude and loving it.
Besides, it's too hot for clothes.
I'll probably change my mind 6 months from now.